Entries Tagged 'In the District' ↓

Parker The Dog, Esquire

Friends, humans, pandas,

To begin, let me say that I am somewhat new to these “weblogs,” as they are known, so I apologize if I do not use the parlance or rules that have arisen in this nouvelle medium.

That said, I was invited to speak on the topic of these young pups that are being filmed for a show known as “The Real World.” I live across the street and have to put up with the tomfoolery they and their stalkers/devotees/disciples bring to my neighborhood. And let me tell you…I am NOT pleased!

Does a dog not have a right to her territory? I have lived in this neighborhood for 3 years and peed on this “Real World” house multiple times. Using the precedence of Fido v. Queen Victoria, any residence that a dog has peed on for over 1 year becomes wholly or partially property of said dog. As a homeowner, I had no say whether these fiends would move into my property! Worse, I can no longer relieve myself on this house due to gentlemen who threaten to call the super-villain known as Dog-Catcher.

Furthermore, when I take my human slaves outside to exercise them, where is a respectable lady like myself supposed to walk when these humans take up all the street being videotaped and recorded??? I do respect these “Real World”-ers for having human slaves like myself but my goodness! Have some control over your human slaves!

Last, there is a panda that lives in that house. Now, I know many fine Pandas–not just the Pandas that live in the palatial estate on Connecticut, but also the Pandas that are currently plotting to become the new royalty in Myanmar. However, this “panda” seems to be some kind of manimal–possibly the kind that prostitute-loving Senator David Vitter has recently warned the animals about. He seems somewhat poorly bathed and does not eat bamboo at all. This panda may have Stockholm Syndrome. My brethren and I shall keep you updated on his status.

I will not lie…I shall miss the folk across the street. Because for all of their faults, they do have one redeeming quality that myself and many other dogs do enjoy–their shit does stink.

Barkingly Yours,

Parker The Dog

Colonel K wrote in to give us more details on the Real World DC casts’ trip to Capitol Skyline Hotel Pool:

This past Sunday, me and a homegirl decided to head down to the Skyline Hotel down in SW. There was a synchronized swimming event being held and an art installation in one of the lounges.We figured it would be a good way to come down after a rather hectic and intense weekend.

We arrived around 6pm to find the pool area packed swimming enthusiasts, hipsters, tourists and their surprisingly well behaved children. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed the Real World cast hanging out in a corner area by the bar. Throughout the competition*, the tall smooth brutha kept yelling out to his castmate (bro-dude w/tattoos and long hair) who was a judge. Sure, these guys had been drinking all day, but for some reason this rubbed me the wrong way. I didn’t expect anyone to be standing in silence, but it seemed so corny, so contrived and a tad unnecessary. The rest of the cast were actually pretty chill. You couldn’t help but notice them, thanks to the film crew. But after a while, it got a little strange. Me and my friend decided to go watch our friend’s short film and enjoy our drinks in privacy.
 
*The actual swimming? I thought it was shit, really. Only one team delivered that real-deal holyfield synchronized swimming. The other three routines weren’t very interesting and rather poorly organized.

A quick flickr search led to maxedaperture who documented the whole of the synchronized event, including these two (one, two) pictures which include Real World DC cast members. (If I can figure out how to post them on the blog, I’ll be sure to update this post.)

Reader Cara sent in this description of the Real World DC casts’ trip to the D.C. United game yesterday:

Saw the Real worlders at the DC United game yesterday- they were in the barra brava section, kind of on the outskirts, but with full camera coverage. Tons of people kept talking to them (myself included, I’m a sucker for ‘famous’ people)…they couldn’t say they were on the real world, they kept saying it was a documentary on soccer, but it was definitely the real world. Anyway, they were really young (and surprisingly short). The one guy (bandana-man) was approached by a fellow bandana-wearer from the crowd and was like “Hey man, what’s your background?”, to which Bandana Man responded, “Puerto Rican and Italian” and pulls out some symbolic tattoo. Bandana-man 2.0 was like, “I’m Puerto Rican and Sicilian actually” and Bandana Man FREAKED and was like ME TOOOOO and they both started comparing tattoos and talking excitedly. When I saw them at the end of the game, nearly an hour later, the Bandana Men were still hanging out and man-bonding… but anyway in total they seemed like really friendly but reeeeally lame.

I love it. Two BFFs in the making, brought together by their bandanas and bad-ass tats. Excellent.

@RealWorldDCNEWZ and others reported they were at the game as well, and below are some of the pictures that people tweeted, in case you’d like a look:

Photo courtesy of @jim_malone

Photo courtesy of @jenfraiz

Congratulations to Capsfan8704 for their winning submission to the Anti-Real World DC “Real” DC Weekly Photo Contest!

The photo shows not only DCFD and the Capitol, but mascots for both the Nats AND the Caps!  Now THAT is real DC!  Congratulations!

We will post a new photo every Thursday so keep your submissions coming!

Check out his photo at our Flickr group and below.

So the Real World DC cast likes faux-Mexican food. Not exactly mind blowing, we know, but certainly worth reporting out.

I just got a text with the pictures below from a friend who wrote:

Just walked by real worlders outside Cali[fornia] Tortilla in Chinatown. Guess they have bad taste in burritos.

I wonder if Subway© is jealous?

Perhaps they’re going to see a movie… maybe Brüno? I sure do hope they know about California Tortilla’s mexcellent (their word, not mine) dinner-and-a-movie deal: Get a buritto, soda and movie ticket for $12.99 after 4pm Monday through Friday, all day Saturday and Sunday. Regal Cinema directly across the street.

(BTW: You’re welcome, California Tortilla, for sorta pimpin’ your goods.)

We’ve received a number of submissions both through email and our Flickr group for our “Real DC” Weekly Photo Contest.  We’ll announce the winning photo every Thursday starting tomorrow!

To enter, simply add a photo to the Flickr group that you think best represents “Real” DC to you and tag it with “ARWDC”.

We’ll eventually come up with a prize each week that is better than bragging rights and your photo on a blog.  Something like KindaLikePuck cooking you breakfast or something.

So when you live across the street from the Real World house you end up going to the same places in the neighborhood. It’s great to know that although RWers can go in the Secret Safeway and Rite Aid, no cameras are allowed. While the cameramen had to stay outside at least half the cast was inside following the directions of their “babysitter” (production guy who’s not a cameraman but helps script the show). They were being instructed to buy a card game or board game and were stuck in the aisle with children’s toys. Oh the poor teenagers who watch this show and this it’s real – it’s even more scripted than i thought.

Great timing to plug our Anti-Real World DC “Real” DC Photo Contest. Send us your best example of “real” DC by joining our Flickr Group and uploading photos that are tagged “ARWDC”

PS Yes those are black and red checkered pajama pants that Emily is wearing.

This may shock some of you, but most of us at ARWDC enjoy reality TV! If I had my druthers, here are only some of the shows I would welcome with open arms to D.C. Please comment or email us with the shows you would want to see!*

Top Chef: D.C. has become one of the top culinary destinations in the country. You may not be able to afford some of the higher end places, but from pho to burgers to haute cuisine to you name it, D.C. is making a name for itself in the culinary world. Spike from season 4 of Top Chef has his must-eat Good Stuff Eatery on The Hill, and Carla from Season 5 was a finalist. (Any readers know what she is up to now?)

The first challenge could be during Maryland crab season….or maybe re-invent the half-smoke. The White House Pastry Chef could judge the best D.C. monuments, which have been made for dessert. Or repeat past seasons, and make food for a worthy cause like DC Central Kitchen.

Project Runway: To be fair, all that I know about fashion comes from Project Runway. But what I do know, is that PR could do some trips to D.C. that would be great! How about designing a gown for an embassy ball….or a state dinner? (Forgive me if this has been done) The gown could then be auctioned off and proceeds went to a good cause.

The People’s Court: I have not seen the People’s Court since the days of Judge Wapner and Rusty the Bailiff, but the premise of the show would be great in D.C. Instead of taking up precious time and taxpayer dollars doing investigations and hearings, the plaintiff and the bailiff would be sent to The People’s Court where a no-nonsense judge would tell them how it is going to be. I know many of you will say but wait…Due Process! Well, both parties have to agree to the Judge’s ruling once they enter The People’s Court. Just think–Abramoff would’ve been put away so much faster…no good guy wears a dark trenchcoat and fedora. The movies tell me that.

Bonus, this is actual, non-staged real-life drama that is resolved in one location and doesn’t require multiple venues. Score! (thx to @nerdette for suggestion as well)

*We know about Real Housewives of DC (or is it Potomac, MD now) and Blonde Charity Mafia. Some of us from ARWDC are thrilled, some are not. Also, we know some of you will call us hypocrite.s But seriously…PR and TC require a specific skillset, RWDC does not.