“To apply, please submit your resume, a cover letter, and write an essay explaining what you would do to get on the Real World, D.C.”

— The last line of a job listing looking for a L.A. in Rep. Ginny Brown-Waite’s (R-Fla.) office.

What if the way I would get on RWDC was to be gay, and not want to lose my job because I’m gay, and then same-sex marry my boyfriend? Oh right…Rep. Brown-Waite isn’t down for that.

Anywho, I wonder what issues this LA will be handling? Here’s my guesses:

• International Beer Pong Tournaments
• Reality TV
• Inter- & Intra-office Drama
• U.S. Dept. of Skanky Clothes
• Backstabbing
• Sorority Houses and Their Zoning Laws
• Interfraternity Bromance Accords
• Organizing town hall mobs where people just yell and scream and contribute nothing. Like the “Real World” itself.

Other thoughts?

However, I did last night for the amateur drag queen competition to see a friend, Lady Gabanna/Grandma Wrinkles, perform in her very first show. The performances ranged from the guy not in drag wearing a prison jumpsuit to Mary Poppins and her spoonful of sugar. Grandma Wrinkles came in second and all rejoiced.

Yet throughout the whole performance, I got this feeling that this is not a bar that the RWDC would go to….even if a friend was performing. Not sure if it is because Omega isn’t “hip/cool” like Town or Halo, or if it is just off the beaten path, or if they’d just be shocked, but the vibe was still there.

I hope they do go to the amateur drag competition and stay for the whole thing. In the meantime, I wonder what other secret treasures they are missing in DC simply because they aren’t for MTV’s current viewing audience.

This isn’t a fact–merely speculation from a friend who has run events at Halo before. Good thing my Sundays consist of pool time.

Thanks to DoubleChocolateStout for the tip

This may shock some of you, but most of us at ARWDC enjoy reality TV! If I had my druthers, here are only some of the shows I would welcome with open arms to D.C. Please comment or email us with the shows you would want to see!*

Top Chef: D.C. has become one of the top culinary destinations in the country. You may not be able to afford some of the higher end places, but from pho to burgers to haute cuisine to you name it, D.C. is making a name for itself in the culinary world. Spike from season 4 of Top Chef has his must-eat Good Stuff Eatery on The Hill, and Carla from Season 5 was a finalist. (Any readers know what she is up to now?)

The first challenge could be during Maryland crab season….or maybe re-invent the half-smoke. The White House Pastry Chef could judge the best D.C. monuments, which have been made for dessert. Or repeat past seasons, and make food for a worthy cause like DC Central Kitchen.

Project Runway: To be fair, all that I know about fashion comes from Project Runway. But what I do know, is that PR could do some trips to D.C. that would be great! How about designing a gown for an embassy ball….or a state dinner? (Forgive me if this has been done) The gown could then be auctioned off and proceeds went to a good cause.

The People’s Court: I have not seen the People’s Court since the days of Judge Wapner and Rusty the Bailiff, but the premise of the show would be great in D.C. Instead of taking up precious time and taxpayer dollars doing investigations and hearings, the plaintiff and the bailiff would be sent to The People’s Court where a no-nonsense judge would tell them how it is going to be. I know many of you will say but wait…Due Process! Well, both parties have to agree to the Judge’s ruling once they enter The People’s Court. Just think–Abramoff would’ve been put away so much faster…no good guy wears a dark trenchcoat and fedora. The movies tell me that.

Bonus, this is actual, non-staged real-life drama that is resolved in one location and doesn’t require multiple venues. Score! (thx to @nerdette for suggestion as well)

*We know about Real Housewives of DC (or is it Potomac, MD now) and Blonde Charity Mafia. Some of us from ARWDC are thrilled, some are not. Also, we know some of you will call us hypocrite.s But seriously…PR and TC require a specific skillset, RWDC does not.

Note: This is the tip in full, unedited.

“Just dialed 311 after a security guy near the street asked me and a friend to leave. We heard the cast discussing how rude people in DC were in what we think were their hottub, The police arrived. I have no problem with them protecting the property, but the guy told us he was Park Police. He reached into his back pocket and said he was our worst nightmare. He said he was going to arrest us.